idle minds wander

This is a whole room of people
Moving bodies, useless chatter
Lights, sounds, tastes
But I am alone.

There is someone for everyone
I am the outcast,
Always has been.

Sometimes we wish that there is something more to a book
Or a song, a movie
But that is all there is to it,
Only a book
A song, a movie.

If I look really closely,
I can see tiny dots everywhere.
They make up my mind
And everything else, for that matter.

Cause even the sweetest turns bitter by time
We can reveal so much through words
But the pain inside,
We can’t see
We cannot feel.

They say hurt is part of mankind
But I don’t feel any emotions and therefore;
I am no human.

Of course, I have been with things
Or people, as you may call them
That made me chew on fingernails
And spit on shoes.

I think there was a time
When I felt something
It is a sense of euphoria
But it was a long time ago
When I had the sun in my eyes
And I could count without using my fingers.

I will read through myself again one day
Then I will tell you how it really feels.