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:iconditzibum: More from ditzibum


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Submitted on
January 18, 2008
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There are 6 minutes to tell you
how i feel about you
and maybe then i'll know what i really want
but then thoughts of the waves and the grey skies
with thunder ahead
clouded my mind
killing one minute

There are 5 minutes to tell you how i feel about you
and maybe then you'll know what you want
but then you started talking about sad movies
and how one made you cry so much that you couldn't sleep
so you spent the whole night staring
at blank screens
and you asked me whats my favourite,
killing another minute

There are 4 minutes to tell you how i feel about you
and maybe then we'll get what we want
but then, everything was so silent,
silence so deep it seem to slice the air between us
like bullets piercing your hero's chest
in those sad movies you hate
and the silence cut right through the notion,
killing another minute

There are 3 minutes to tell you
how i feel about you
and maybe then we'll live happily ever after,
but then i dreamt of red roses with a card from you,
bubbles, chocolates and white dresses
with your hand in mine,
killing another minute,
but then
you, you looked at me with
those eyes
and you killed me
when you touched my cheek
and the thunder sounded so near
and the waves were at our feet
and it started pouring from grey skies
and i killed another minute

Now theres 1 minute to tell you
how i feel about you
and maybe then, everything
i've dreamt of will become true
but then, you melted me through
again, with those eyes of your
and i did not think of bad wheathers
and i did not care of sad movies with bullet-ridden heroines
and i did not realise the silence that was no longer there
and i did not dream of a life i'd wanted forever
All i thought was of you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
and then you were gone
and i killed myself
youstupidthingshityou
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:iconjenchol:
Jenchol Jun 26, 2008   Writer
The ending is shocking but brilliant. I expected a beautiful happily-ever-after ending but it was great =]
Reply
:iconditzibum:
life's never really fair =)
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:iconlynixious:
ohh i forgot to say that it is a great poem too!! i love the idea wrought into this. Very very original and gratifying at the end. i like twists =) Talented person you are from my point of view. (gawd i'm sounding like like like that thing from star wars, ahh yes Yoda).
Reply
:iconditzibum:
haha! whyy, thank you :blush:
and er, yoda eh. ahha
Reply
:iconlynixious:
i like the author's comment :D hillarious... I mean, this happened a long time ago right? no offense yea =)
Reply
:iconditzibum:
err yeaaa. haha i'm not sure myself, coz i can't remember.
very spur-of-the-moment kind so no certain period.
Reply
:iconblacktomorrow:
I've felt like this before. I am currently in that mind set right now. But I don't think that I'll tell him, I'm just a stranger you see.
Reply
:iconditzibum:
ah, I see. I suggest you talk to him. you never know where a conversation might lead to.
Reply
:iconblacktomorrow:
I don't know him and I'm afraid of what might come. Maybe one day I'll find someone.
Reply
:iconditzibum:
:hug:
it's okay. everyone deserves someone to love and to be loved..
Reply
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